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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Landlord Not Convinced Heat Isn't Working

QUEENS, NY—Despite urgent pleas to the contrary, landlord Arnold Ngyuen remained unconvinced that the heat in Ted Myer's apartment is not on, the 57-year-old building owner said in a telephone conversation with the tenant Monday. "No, it's on, all right," said Ngyuen, audibly displaying his disbelief in 26-year-old Myers' repeated assertions that he was "freezing." Ngyuen bolstered his claim by explaining that the thermostat was replaced just two years ago, that the upstairs neighbors haven't said anything, and the fact that you shouldn't pump too much heat in there anyway because its just going to dry you out. "You didn't mess with the valve, did you? Because you're not supposed to mess with the valve." Ngyuen then put Myers on hold in order to go check with maintenance guy Carlos, who immediately confirmed that Myers' heat was definitely on.
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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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