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Larry Brown Promises Knicks Will Make Playoffs In Some League

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Larry Brown Promises Knicks Will Make Playoffs In Some League

NEW YORK—Larry Brown, whose Knicks are currently struggling in the National Basketball Association, vowed that his team will make the playoffs, though he is "not yet sure where." "My guys are all very versatile athletes, and although I know they prefer basketball, the NBA is very competitive this year. Even if it means playing a whole new sport for the rest of the season, I have faith that my team can make it to a postseason," said Brown, who has a reputation for getting his team to "play the right way," and claims he knows how to play soccer and Australian-style football the right way, too. "I think that the MLS or the World Rugby League would be a particularly good fit for the Knicks, and give New York an excellent shot at some kind of national, international, or state championship. Don't count us out—we'll still be around come June, October, March, or January, depending." Knicks point guard Stephon Marbury said he will do anything to finally get a ring, trophy, cup, or plaque, just as long as he doesn't have to play point guard.

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