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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Last Remaining Novelist Dies In Captivity

COLUMBUS, OH—Cultural zoologists are mourning the extinction of a species following Monday’s passing of novelist John Updike. The last living novelist, Updike died in his cage at the Columbus Zoo. "We will greatly miss Mr. Updike, to whom many of our trainers and feeders grew very attached," zoo director Cheryl Berner said. "Columbus Zoo visitors of all ages loved to watch him hunch over his typewriter, furiously pressing the little keys." Berner said the zoo had tried for several years to mate Updike—known for his long fictional books called "novels" (KNAW-vuls)—with female ad-copy writers, cartoonists and screenwriters, but were unsuccessful. "At one point, we tried to procure a sperm sample from Mr. Updike to inseminate People magazine managing editor Jane Lowery, but he became enraged and violent when approached,” Berner said.

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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

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