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Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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"Late Inning Drama" Episode Guide

Episode 1: Odd Manager Out

The Arrows have a new manager, but he's not what he seems. Masters thinks there's a killer on the team, but all his evidence is circumstantial. Meanwhile he's giving up monstrous home runs. Will the team crack their losing streak… and the case?

Episode 2: Revenge Out Of Left Field

A dark figure from Wally's past comes back for revenge. The Arrows' skipper put him away when he was FBI but now this demented former mobster is back for revenge, having won a spot as a DH on the Stallions. Brimford is on two different dates at once.

Episode 3: In A Pinch

Wally lifts Sampson for Fell even though Sampson kills lefties… has he actually killed another one? Masters goes to bat for his platooned teammate, but even he has his suspicions. Joel McHale guest stars.

Episode 4: Framed On The Outside Corner

Scott Masters has had his problems with Wally Wright in the past… but is he a killer? Masters doesn't think so, and now he has to race against the clock or his manager gets a lethal injection on the field. Brimford's mother-in-law is emasculating him.

Episode 5: Extra Killings

It's the longest game of the season and Arrows are dropping like flies. Who's killing everyone? Pitching coach Al Jeffers has a theory, but that long walk to the pitcher's mound may take away those precious seconds he needs.

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