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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Latest Blake Griffin Dunk More Annoying Than Anything

LOS ANGELES—Players and fans alike are saying that Blake Griffin's latest dunk, while a solid, unstoppable one-handed jam, was actually more irritating than it was breathtaking or impressive. "Just the way he palmed the ball was, like, ‘Oh, I'm going to jump up with this and place it through the hoop now, ooh, look at me,’" said Lakers center Andrew Bynum, adding that the dunk was "probably going to come back to bug [him] all week at odd moments" until the playoffs started. "And the way he jumped? Tell me that wasn't the most aggravating jump you've seen since Reggie Miller was playing." Despite the generally acknowledged off-putting nature of Griffin's dunk, onlookers agreed Kobe Bryant was still the most annoying thing about the game.

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