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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Latest Jihad Has Something For Everyone

SANA'A, YEMEN—Leaders of the New Mujahideen jihadist movement say their latest holy war should appeal to people from all walks of Muslim life. "If you like bombing, bomb manufacturing, effigy-burning, maintaining inflammatory websites, or just 'hajjing out,' the Nu Mooj has something for you!" read a statement on the group's home page. "Jihad is better when friends come together!" The Nu Mooj is expected to recruit several hundred like-minded fanatics to their holy cause of fighting Western imperialism before factional violence tears it apart later this year.

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