adBlockCheck

Recent News

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
End Of Section
  • More News

Lawyers Separate Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen In 17-Hour Procedure

HOLLYWOOD—Attorneys representing Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen separated the career-conjoined twins in a harrowing, 17-hour procedure Monday. "Because they lived symbiotically for so many years, the most difficult task was methodically detaching each of their shared credits," said Divorah Kessler, one of the heroic lawyers on the five-person team. "After carefully removing the ampersand between their names and replacing it with a comma, we'll attempt to construct an individual persona for each girl." Lawyers on both sides list the girls' chances for solo-career survival as "fair."

More from this section

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close