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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Lawyers Separate Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen In 17-Hour Procedure

HOLLYWOOD—Attorneys representing Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen separated the career-conjoined twins in a harrowing, 17-hour procedure Monday. "Because they lived symbiotically for so many years, the most difficult task was methodically detaching each of their shared credits," said Divorah Kessler, one of the heroic lawyers on the five-person team. "After carefully removing the ampersand between their names and replacing it with a comma, we'll attempt to construct an individual persona for each girl." Lawyers on both sides list the girls' chances for solo-career survival as "fair."

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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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