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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Lazy ESPN.com Poll Asks Readers If They Like Sports

BRISTOL, CT—Lazy ESPN.com editors posted the poll question "Do you like sports?" on the website's homepage yesterday, offering "yes" or "no" as the only two response options. "We have to do a poll each day, so, yeah, we did a poll on whether people like sports or not," web editor Anthony Whelan said via telephone Monday, adding that his staff had also considered the question "Was Michael Jordan good?" "We try to make the experience on our website interactive for the users and whatever." Whelan denied accusations that ESPN.com was running low on poll ideas and adamantly defended last week's SportsNation question, "How you guys doing?"

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