adBlockCheck

Lazy Event Planner Throws 'Bags Of Ice'–Themed Party

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Lazy Event Planner Throws 'Bags Of Ice'–Themed Party

LOS ANGELES—Lacking the time, energy, or initiative to prepare anything better, Hollywood-based event planner Frankie Haines spent roughly 20 minutes last week organizing a 'Bags of Ice'–themed celebrity birthday bash. "I figure it makes sense: Parties and bags of ice, those are two things that go together," said Haines, describing his inspiration for the hastily created, half-million-dollar soiree, which will feature five massive columns of ice bags stacked throughout the space, ice bags leading up the driveway, and possibly an ice-bag sculpture centerpiece, "if there's time." "There's a pool, so we've got some bags of ice bobbing in there. We even stuffed some bags of ice into some clothes I found lying around and made ice-bag people. Perhaps not my finest work, but certainly good enough for David Hyde Pierce's 52nd birthday." The gala event will be followed immediately by a 'Bags of Water' after-party at the same location.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close