Lazy Event Planner Throws 'Bags Of Ice'–Themed Party

In This Section

Vol 47 Issue 14

Detroit Pistons JumboTron Not Even Trying Anymore

AUBURN HILLS, MI—Making flippant remarks about the game such as "BASKETBALL GAME HAPPENING NOW" and "WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF THIS?" the Detroit Pistons' JumboTron has reportedly stopped trying to pretend to care abou...

Oh, God, Area Man Making His Move

BRIGHTON, NY—Patrons of the Full Moon Tavern are reporting that oh, God, area man Darrell Barnes is walking right up to that beautiful woman sitting by the window.

Zip-Lining Day Trip To Somehow Save Marriage

CONCORD, NH—According to sources, the deteriorating 10-year-old marriage of Dale and Gina Byer will somehow be magically restored this weekend by a zip-lining excursion to the mountains of northern New Hampshire.

Guy In Audience Shouts Out Perfect Thing

COLUMBUS, OH—Audience members at Crossroads Cinema were treated to an unexpected delight Friday when someone in the crowd shouted out a hilarious thing at the exact right moment, sources reported.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Internet

Race Relations

Lazy Event Planner Throws 'Bags Of Ice'–Themed Party

LOS ANGELES—Lacking the time, energy, or initiative to prepare anything better, Hollywood-based event planner Frankie Haines spent roughly 20 minutes last week organizing a 'Bags of Ice'–themed celebrity birthday bash. "I figure it makes sense: Parties and bags of ice, those are two things that go together," said Haines, describing his inspiration for the hastily created, half-million-dollar soiree, which will feature five massive columns of ice bags stacked throughout the space, ice bags leading up the driveway, and possibly an ice-bag sculpture centerpiece, "if there's time." "There's a pool, so we've got some bags of ice bobbing in there. We even stuffed some bags of ice into some clothes I found lying around and made ice-bag people. Perhaps not my finest work, but certainly good enough for David Hyde Pierce's 52nd birthday." The gala event will be followed immediately by a 'Bags of Water' after-party at the same location.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More