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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Least Popular Guy At House Party Really Hitting It Off With Dog

CHICAGO—Having failed to find a single person to have a meaningful conversation with, least popular party guest Paul Whitford is really hitting it off with the host’s dog, sources are confirming. “You’re my buddy,” Whitford said while sitting next to the dog on the couch, looking at him at eye level, and petting him as partygoers continued talking and laughing amongst themselves nearby. “You’ve been a very good boy with all these people walking around your house, but I bet you’re ready for them to get out of here, right? Yes, I bet you are. Good boy.” At press time, Whitford was reportedly flipping through a coffee table book after the dog became interested in another guest.

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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

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