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LeBron James Admits Current USA Basketball Team Couldn't Beat 2012 Miami Heat

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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LeBron James Admits Current USA Basketball Team Couldn't Beat 2012 Miami Heat

LONDON—In a stunning revelation, small forward LeBron James humbly conceded Tuesday that the current U.S. Olympic basketball team lacked the athleticism and talent to defeat the 2012 Miami Heat. "Team USA is solid, and we have some pretty good guys, like Kobe, Durant, and James, but there's no way we could possibly compete with James, Wade, Chalmers, Battier, and Bosh," said James, adding that the 2012 Miami Heat was loaded with too many superstars. "If we relied on LeBron, it might not be a blowout, I suppose. Still, the 2012 Miami Heat squad is the best of the best." James, who told reporters the U.S. basketball team had a coaching advantage over the Heat, struggled for several minutes trying to recall the name of Miami’s "shitty coach."

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