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LeBron James Admits Current USA Basketball Team Couldn't Beat 2012 Miami Heat

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In an effort to cater to customers who have lost the will to live, economy hotel chain Red Roof Inn officially unveiled Thursday its new Suicidal Suite available at each of their locations across the nation.
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LeBron James Admits Current USA Basketball Team Couldn't Beat 2012 Miami Heat

LONDON—In a stunning revelation, small forward LeBron James humbly conceded Tuesday that the current U.S. Olympic basketball team lacked the athleticism and talent to defeat the 2012 Miami Heat. "Team USA is solid, and we have some pretty good guys, like Kobe, Durant, and James, but there's no way we could possibly compete with James, Wade, Chalmers, Battier, and Bosh," said James, adding that the 2012 Miami Heat was loaded with too many superstars. "If we relied on LeBron, it might not be a blowout, I suppose. Still, the 2012 Miami Heat squad is the best of the best." James, who told reporters the U.S. basketball team had a coaching advantage over the Heat, struggled for several minutes trying to recall the name of Miami’s "shitty coach."

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