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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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LeBron James Encourages NBA To Stop Jumping In Honor Of Michael Jordan

WASHINGTON—Prior to Wednesday's game against the Washington Wizards, Cleveland Cavaliers all-star LeBron James announced that he would stop jumping during professional basketball games in order to properly honor recent Hall of Fame inductee Michael Jordan. "MJ jumped a lot. It was his signature. When players jump in this league, whether for a tip-off, a jump shot, or a layup, they're basically copying what Michael Jordan did when he would propel himself upward and lift both feet off the ground," James told reporters in a press conference in which he asked other players to join him in the ground-staying-on tribute. "The fact of the matter is, without MJ changing the game by making his body go up into the air, us young guys wouldn't even know what jumping is." James later scored 38 points against the last-place Wizards with his feet flat on the floor.

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