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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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LeBron James Guarantees Cleveland Will Win Numerous Regular Season Games

CLEVELAND—Immediately following the highly anticipated announcement that he will be returning to the Cavaliers, NBA superstar LeBron James boldly guaranteed that Cleveland will win numerous regular season games, sources confirmed Friday. “It’s not going to be easy, but I can personally assure you that the Cavs will win multiple games now that I’m back home,” the 4-time NBA MVP and Akron, Ohio native told reporters, claiming that putting together as many as four or five regular season wins for the franchise was “more than just a possibility.” “Just look at the team we’ve got: Kyrie Irving, Dion Waiters, Anderson Varejao, and now me. With a squad like that, you know we’re going to be seeing quite a few wins come October. That’s what the people of Cleveland deserve.” James added that, provided everything falls into place for the team, he could even see the Cavaliers putting together back-to-back Eastern Conference Finals losses.

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