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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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LeBron James Guarantees Cleveland Will Win Numerous Regular Season Games

CLEVELAND—Immediately following the highly anticipated announcement that he will be returning to the Cavaliers, NBA superstar LeBron James boldly guaranteed that Cleveland will win numerous regular season games, sources confirmed Friday. “It’s not going to be easy, but I can personally assure you that the Cavs will win multiple games now that I’m back home,” the 4-time NBA MVP and Akron, Ohio native told reporters, claiming that putting together as many as four or five regular season wins for the franchise was “more than just a possibility.” “Just look at the team we’ve got: Kyrie Irving, Dion Waiters, Anderson Varejao, and now me. With a squad like that, you know we’re going to be seeing quite a few wins come October. That’s what the people of Cleveland deserve.” James added that, provided everything falls into place for the team, he could even see the Cavaliers putting together back-to-back Eastern Conference Finals losses.

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