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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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LeBron James Speaks Out Against Terrible Conditions Of Referee Camps

CLEVELAND—Cavaliers forward LeBron James railed against the harsh conditions of referee camps in the developing world Wednesday, calling attention to the plight of millions of referees worldwide who flee oppression and the threat of violence only to live without access to adequate food, water, or basketball facilities. "Sadly, thousands of referees are forced to live in unhygienic and crowded tents, unable to return to their home courts," James told reporters, adding that many referees lacked proper officiating equipment and their uniforms were in rags. "I don't always agree with the referees, but no one should have to live like that. Unfortunately for many, their whistles remain unheard, and numerous double dribbles and over-and-back violations are going unpunished." James, who called the situation "unsportsmanlike," has reportedly pledged $2 million to provide much needed shot clocks and urged NBA coaches to draw up a play to save the referees.

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