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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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LeBron James Unable To Enjoy MVP Knowing Boston Globe’s Gary Washburn Didn’t Vote For Him

MIAMI—After receiving 120 of 121 first-place votes from NBA media members, Miami Heat star LeBron James admitted to reporters Thursday that he can’t enjoy his fourth league Most Valuable Player award with the knowledge that Boston Globe writer Gary Washburn didn’t cast his ballot for him. “Sure, it’s nice to be in the same company as other four-time MVP winners Bill Russell, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Wilt Chamberlain, and Michael Jordan, but knowing Gary Washburn didn’t think I deserved this makes it just seem worthless,” said James, stressing that Washburn, who voted for New York Knicks small forward Carmelo Anthony, is the only journalist whose opinion truly matters within NBA circles. “Yeah, I led my team to a league-best 66-16 record, a 27-game win streak, and averaged over 26 points and 7 assists per game, but honestly, who cares? We all know Gary’s vote is what counts, so I just can’t help but think Carmelo deserves this honor more than I do.” In light of Washburn’s vote, Heat president Pat Riley is reportedly strongly considering trading James after this season.

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