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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Left Bed In Clemens, Pettitte's Shared Hotel Room Clearly Unused

KANSAS CITY—One of the beds in the hotel room occupied by Yankee pitchers and offseason workout partners Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens was left completely untouched during the first night of the team's four-game road series, sources at the Embassy Suites in Kansas City reported early Tuesday morning. "It is quite peculiar, especially since both men were there when I delivered the tray of chocolate-covered strawberries they ordered from room service at 11:30 p.m.," said room maid Maria Santos, who claimed the bed remained exactly as she left it the morning before, save for the removal of one pillow, which was found at the foot of the other bed with a slight tear in the fabric. "Normally I would have been happy to only have to make one bed, had the other one not been a complete mess. And somehow everything on the top of the kitchen table ended up on the floor, too." Andy Pettitte was not available for comment, and is day-to-day with a sore groin.

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