Legal Loophole In Art Modell's Will Eliminates Cleveland Browns Forever

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Vol 48 Issue 38

The Bird Sniffer

PBS 8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT Ornithologist and acclaimed odor-describer Dr. Charles Wemple attempts to get a rare whiff of a freshly hatched ivory-billed woodpecker before the mother pecks the bejeezus out of his face.

Area Mom Was Waiting In The Car For 20 Minutes

LEXINGTON, MA—According to sources within the car-pool lane at Lexington High School, your mom has been waiting for you in the car for over 20 minutes, and now she’s going to be late, which is just great.

That Chair Over There

No one’s using it at the moment. Go ahead, take a seat. You can always get up if someone comes back.
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