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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Legal Loophole In Art Modell's Will Eliminates Cleveland Browns Forever

BALTIMORE—Exploiting a legal technicality that allowed him to regain full ownership of the Cleveland Browns organization in death, former team owner Art Modell specified his wish to permanently dismantle the 66-year-old franchise in his last will and testament, family sources reported Tuesday. “It is my dying wish that the Cleveland Browns football team and associated assets be liquidated and distributed amongst the benefactors listed herein,” read part of the document, in which Modell also stripped the franchise of its right to the team’s colors, which the Baltimore Ravens will adopt for their second alternate uniforms beginning next season. “Furthermore, I hereby set aside funds in the amount of $50 million for the creation of a nonprofit foundation dedicated to ensuring that no professional football team moves to or is ever established in the city of Cleveland, from now until the end of time.” At press time, sources confirmed Modell had bequeathed the Browns’ 1964 NFL championship to LeBron James and ordered the immediate demolition of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

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