BEAVERTON, OR—Touting the undergarment as an essential item for women on the go, Nike released a new sports bra Monday designed for wearing directly under a coat while shambling around the grocery store, sources reported.
BROOKLYN, NY—Michael Timm, a towering figure in the cloistered world of professional boxing trainers, admitted Wednesday that, through a series of mistakes, he had trained up-and-coming bantamweight Royce Hamanolosa (14-1) to be a racehorse. "I guess I was concentrating on speed work too much I had him running half-miles for a month and working the speed bag, then three-eighths of a mile on grass and working a nose bag, then galloping a mile every other day before being curry-combed," Timm told reporters. "I take full responsibility, and I thank God that someone realized what was happening just before Royce broke his leg." Hamanalosa forgave Timm for his errors, saying that in many ways he was "in the best shape of his life" and that his victory at Santa Anita now allowed him to demand a six-figure stud fee.