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Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Leonardo DiCaprio Morphs Back Into Hairy, Overweight Iowan After Finally Receiving Oscar

LOS ANGELES—Undergoing a rapid physical transformation the instant his hand grasped the Academy Award for best actor, Leonardo DiCaprio reportedly morphed back into a hairy, heavyset Iowan Sunday after finally winning an Oscar. “This is great—I’ve been waiting for one of these things for a long time. Now, I can finally go back home to Boone and get back to driving a flatbed truck for a living,” said the disheveled DiCaprio, scratching at his itchy scalp and causing dandruff flakes to flutter down to his shoulders as his tuxedo transformed into a tattered, mustard-stained flannel shirt. “I’m gonna put this on the shelf next to my bowling trophies. I can’t wait to celebrate tonight with a 30 rack of Busch.” At press time, DiCaprio was escorted off the stage by a visibly repulsed model trying to keep her distance from the foul-smelling actor.


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