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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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'Les Misérables' Takes Home Oscar For Most Sound

LOS ANGELES—Delivering on a season’s worth of awards buzz, the critically acclaimed musical Les Misérables was a big winner at the 85th annual Academy Awards last night after it took home the Oscar for Most Sound. “It’s incredibly humbling to accept this award for Most Sound on behalf of our cast and crew,” said director Tom Hooper of the film that also took home the Academy Awards for Best Sound Making and Biggest Sounds. “We are all very proud of the sounds in this film, and in a year filled with so many terrifically loud movies, we feel incredibly fortunate to be recognized.” In an additional coup for the film, Anne Hathaway’s portrayal of Fantine earned her awards for both Best Supporting Actress and Loudest Actress.

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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