Lesser Piece Of Paper Used To Test Pen's Viability

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Vol 45 Issue 03

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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Kids Love When Mom Sad Enough To Just Order Pizza

FORT WORTH, TX—Saying they get their hopes up anytime they notice her looking particularly downhearted, siblings Paulo and Marisa Hernandez told reporters Wednesday they love it when their mother is sad enough to just order pizza.


Lesser Piece Of Paper Used To Test Pen's Viability

CHICAGO—A lesser piece of paper—one of no practical use and little overall consequence—was employed Monday to test out the viability of a nearby pen. According to sources, the inferior sheet of paper was specifically chosen to test out the ball-point writing instrument, as it possessed six continuous inches of clear space, was located within arm's reach, and could be immediately disposed of after its intended use. As of press time, sources revealed that the lesser sheet of paper is actually a 40-page master's thesis belonging to roommate Mark Dixon.

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