Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.
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Letter Of Recommendation Clearly Written Under Duress

ST. PAUL, MN—Prospective employers of regional sales coordinator candidate Karyn Randall have noted that a glowing, if somewhat halting, letter of recommendation attached to her résumé appeared to have been authored by a former supervisor under extreme compulsion. "Karyn has an unusually insistent style of conducting business, undeniably effective in both achieving her goals and giving those she works with a greater awareness of her value, the value of their lives, how much they love their wife and two daughters, and how desperately they want to live," the letter, signed by Randall's previous employer Edward DiFillipo, read in part. "For the love of God, please, hire Ms. Randall. She will be a true asset—you've got to believe me." Randall recently found employment at the marketing branch of 3M, where her anxious and perspiring supervisors have already granted her three promotions and five pay raises.

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