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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Level-Headed Yankee Fans To Take Curtis Granderson's Excellent Season Into Account Should He Struggle Down Stretch

NEW YORK—The New York Yankees fanbase, known for its level headed and reasonable disposition, released a collective statement Monday claiming that, should MVP candidate Curtis Granderson begin to slump come September, they would carefully take into consideration his excellent season before determining exactly how they should treat him. “He’s had a career year for us, so if he goes a couple games without a hit or strikes out during a clutch situation in the bottom of the 8th inning, we won’t abruptly turn on him by booing him or questioning his sexual orientation,” said Yankees fan John Pompa, adding that fans of the pinstripes are practical people who understand that every baseball player goes through a slump. “It’s our responsibility to realize, especially in situations where Curtis’ play may hurt our record, that he was a major component in making us a World Series contender in the first place. So we’re not going to fly off the handle and shout things at him that either degrade his family or could be construed as racially insensitive.” While Yankees fans stated they would be pleasantly surprised if the team could win its 28th World Series this year, they admitted that winning isn’t everything.

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