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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Level-Headed Yankee Fans To Take Curtis Granderson's Excellent Season Into Account Should He Struggle Down Stretch

NEW YORK—The New York Yankees fanbase, known for its level headed and reasonable disposition, released a collective statement Monday claiming that, should MVP candidate Curtis Granderson begin to slump come September, they would carefully take into consideration his excellent season before determining exactly how they should treat him. “He’s had a career year for us, so if he goes a couple games without a hit or strikes out during a clutch situation in the bottom of the 8th inning, we won’t abruptly turn on him by booing him or questioning his sexual orientation,” said Yankees fan John Pompa, adding that fans of the pinstripes are practical people who understand that every baseball player goes through a slump. “It’s our responsibility to realize, especially in situations where Curtis’ play may hurt our record, that he was a major component in making us a World Series contender in the first place. So we’re not going to fly off the handle and shout things at him that either degrade his family or could be construed as racially insensitive.” While Yankees fans stated they would be pleasantly surprised if the team could win its 28th World Series this year, they admitted that winning isn’t everything.

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