Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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Levi’s Factory Implicated In Cruel Treatment Of Denim Cows

VERNON, CA—A Levi’s factory in southern California is facing a firestorm of criticism this week after an industrial worker’s cell phone video leaked on the internet revealing the plant’s brutal treatment of its denim cows. “We at Levi’s are committed to providing all our denim livestock with the compassion and dignity they deserve, be it our slim fit, stonewashed, low rise, or boot cut cattle,” operations manager Scott Harleston said in a press statement after protesters flooded Levi’s social media accounts with screenshots showing the cramped, neatly stacked piles in which its 505 Regular Fit steers are forced to live. “The conditions depicted in that video were incongruous with Levi’s longstanding core principles, and the employees responsible have been disciplined accordingly. We apologize, and we’re currently working hard to ensure that every one of our denim animals, from our largest comfort fit bulls to our smallest capri calves, live in clean and safe conditions and that their fabric is harvested as humanely as possible.” The video’s release marks the industry’s biggest animal cruelty controversy since a graphic 2009 documentary exposed the Dockers factory’s practice of pleating its Classic Khaki cows while they were still alive.

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