Levi’s Factory Implicated In Cruel Treatment Of Denim Cows

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Vol 50 Issue 12

Eating Small Meals Throughout Day Doesn’t Help Weight Loss

Contradicting the theory that eating small meals throughout the day is effective for weight loss, a new study has found that eating frequent small portions of food doesn’t actually help people lose weight any more than those who eat three meals per ...

Batman Turns 75

Sunday marks the 75th anniversary of Batman’s first appearance in DC Comics. Here is a timeline of important events in the evolution of the Caped Crusader from comic book hero to billion-dollar franchise

Apple To Diversify Emojis

Responding to criticism that their emojis aren’t diverse enough, Apple has announced that they are working with programmers to add more multicultural and racially diverse faces to its 845-icon catalogue of emojis.

Mark From Sales Currently Leading Bracket Pool

FINDLAY, OH—Following the first four Sweet 16 games of this year’s NCAA Tournament, sources at local marketing firm Jones-Brannon Media confirmed Friday that Mark from sales is currently leading the office bracket pool.

4 Senators Mauled During Congressional Tiger Show

WASHINGTON—Four United States senators are reportedly recovering in Washington-area hospitals today following a shocking and grisly incident Thursday night, when a 480-pound male tiger brutally mauled the elected officials in front of a full audienc...
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  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

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Levi’s Factory Implicated In Cruel Treatment Of Denim Cows

VERNON, CA—A Levi’s factory in southern California is facing a firestorm of criticism this week after an industrial worker’s cell phone video leaked on the internet revealing the plant’s brutal treatment of its denim cows. “We at Levi’s are committed to providing all our denim livestock with the compassion and dignity they deserve, be it our slim fit, stonewashed, low rise, or boot cut cattle,” operations manager Scott Harleston said in a press statement after protesters flooded Levi’s social media accounts with screenshots showing the cramped, neatly stacked piles in which its 505 Regular Fit steers are forced to live. “The conditions depicted in that video were incongruous with Levi’s longstanding core principles, and the employees responsible have been disciplined accordingly. We apologize, and we’re currently working hard to ensure that every one of our denim animals, from our largest comfort fit bulls to our smallest capri calves, live in clean and safe conditions and that their fabric is harvested as humanely as possible.” The video’s release marks the industry’s biggest animal cruelty controversy since a graphic 2009 documentary exposed the Dockers factory’s practice of pleating its Classic Khaki cows while they were still alive.

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