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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

What To Expect From James Comey’s Book

Former FBI director James Comey is writing a book due out next spring about leadership, decision-making, and his time at the FBI. Here’s what to look for when the book is released.
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Lieberman's Overlords Most Displeased

EIGHT MILES BENEATH THE EARTH’S SURFACE—According to reports from deep within the secret underground lair of the Tributon IV Project, the nine executive overlords of Sen. Joseph Lieberman are most displeased with the Connecticut lawmaker's repeated insolence. “We asked the earthling Lieberman to secure the American vice presidency, and yet again he has failed us,” Overlord Xinos IV said in a statement issued telepathically from his prefrontal cortex. “Rest assured, this lowly worm shall pay dearly for his incompetence. That is all.” While the Elders of the High Council of Minerva have not yet settled on an appropriate punishment, they are reportedly considering some combination of spine extraction, laser eye-immolation, and a highly complicated process whereby the four-term senator’s pathetic earth body would be condensed into a small pellet and shot at high speeds into the planet’s molten core. Despite these reports, representatives for Sen. Lieberman said he is still scheduled to attend Saturday’s Nook Farm Harvest Festival in Hartford.

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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

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