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Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Notable Female Writers Throughout History

Jane Austen died 200 years ago today, but she continues to be widely read and influential to today’s writers. The Onion highlights some of the most notable female authors throughout history.
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Life-Raft Companion Looks Just Like Juicy Steak

SOUTH CHINA SEA–In a development with dire implications for shipwreck survivor Warren Munsey, fellow life-raft passenger Cliff Tettleton hallucinated Monday that Munsey was a giant, anthropomorphic sirloin steak. "Wh-wh-what are you looking at me like that for?" Munsey asked the salivating Tettleton, who was busy tying a large napkin around his neck and pulling a knife and fork from his back pocket. "You're creeping me out." Munsey then experienced his own counter-hallucination, in which Tettleton turned into a vicious, slavering wolf. Disaster-survival experts warn that the situation could deteriorate if Tettleton hallucinates that the remaining canteen of potable water is a bottle of Acme Worcestershire Sauce.

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