Lions Claim They Spoiled Patriots' Season

In This Section

Vol 42 Issue 49

Jen And Vince Split

People magazine reports that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have broken up. What do you think?

E. Coli At Taco Bell

At least 65 people in New York and New Jersey have fallen ill after eating at Taco Bell restaurants. What do you think?
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Small Business

Lions Claim They Spoiled Patriots' Season

DETROIT—Jubilant Lions fans, players, and coaches alike continue to ride the wave of good feelings and positive thinking that began after the team lost by only a single touchdown to the talented and efficient New England Patriots Sunday, a fact they say negates anything else the Patriots achieve this season. "For a team like ours to hold a lead against a team like that going into the fourth quarter… As far as we're concerned, an era ended with that game," Lions GM Matt Millen said Monday. "Tom Brady had to pull 15 points out of nowhere to beat us, didn't he? That's the sort of last-minute heroics that can haunt a team forever." Patriots coach Bill Belichick, while not willing to declare the Patriots' season a washout, admitted disappointment that his team "wound up playing that three-ring retard circus of a joke team so damn close."

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More