Lions Fans Excited To Be Booing Again

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Vol 47 Issue 43

Bill Simmons Somehow Still Writing About 2010 NBA Season

LOS ANGELES—With the NBA lockout having already resulted in the cancellation of many games this fall, ESPN.com and Grantland columnist Bill Simmons is somehow managing to churn out upwards of 3,000 words per week on the NBA by continuing to write ab...

FAA To Ban Plane Crashes

WASHINGTON—In what officials are calling "a much-needed policy shift," the Federal Aviation Administration announced this weekend that it would ban all plane crashes.

Man's Utter Failure In Life A Bit Of A Sore Spot

MADISONVILLE, TN—Sources close to local man Mike Ferguson confirmed Saturday that over time they have learned not to bring up their friend's utter failure to achieve anything whatsoever in life, a sensitive topic they said has always been a bit of a...
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Lions Fans Excited To Be Booing Again

DETROIT—After their team dropped its second-straight game Sunday, Detroit Lions fans told reporters they were thrilled to get back to booing the hapless franchise. "Coming to the games and being disappointed at everything on the field for three consecutive hours—this is what it means to be a Lions fan," said Detroit resident Jim Kesseler, who has followed the team and booed it all his life. "I don't know how to cheer, and I'm glad I never wasted my time learning." The fans also expressed relief that newcomers to the Lions bandwagon were already leaving after two losses, as longtime supporters of the team were uncomfortable interacting with people who had not seen the franchise they love humiliated year after year.

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