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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Listener Consumed By Spittle On Corner Of Mouth

DOWNERS GROVE, IL—The words of area resident Pete Fargas were lost Saturday on listener Lois Dumas, who was rendered unable to concentrate due to a gob of spittle on the left corner of Fargas' mouth. "He kept talking, and I kept nodding, but I really couldn't focus on anything but the spittle," Dumas said. "I was just hoping he would eventually sense its presence and clear it away with his tongue, but he never did."

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