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NFL Vows To Fix Bottomless Pit On Levi’s Stadium Field Before Super Bowl

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following persistent safety concerns regarding the playing surface throughout the regular season, the NFL made firm assurances Friday to both the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers that the bottomless pit in the middle of the field at Levi’s Stadium will be fully repaired before Super Bowl 50.

Area Man Would Hate Cam Newton Even If He Was Different Minority

MURRAY, KY—Adamantly stressing that his disdain for the 26-year-old quarterback is not based on any racial prejudice toward African Americans, local 49-year-old Michael Willet told reporters Friday that he would hate Cam Newton even if the Carolina Panthers star was a different minority.

Monocle-Wearing Oil Baron’s Cigarette Holder Splinters In Clenched Teeth After Hearing Bernie Sanders’ Environmental Platform

GREENWICH, CT—Leaving him visibly seething as he sat in his tufted leather wingback chair in his study, monocle-wearing oil baron Frederick Porter Harriman’s ivory-inlaid cigarette holder reportedly splintered between his clenched teeth upon him hearing presidential candidate Bernie Sanders outline his environmental platform during Thursday night’s Democratic debate.

Driving Vs. Public Transportation

Weighing factors such as convenience, time commitment, and environmental impact, deciding whether to commute via car or public transit can be difficult. Here is a side-by-side comparison of the two options
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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WONN5 Cares About Pennington!

We devote 20 hours of airtime to locally produced programming every week. If you have an idea for a show of your own, please contact the WONN5 programming director, Blake Randall. (Please do not call during the noon or evening news broadcast.)

Weekly Programming

  • Sundays, 7:00 AM Holbrook On Call: Call-in advice from Pennington's best and only doctor
  • Sundays, 8:00 AM First Lutheran Church Sunday Morning Service
  • Mondays, 11:00 AM Get Fit with Darryl's New Wife Tina
  • Mondays, 11:00 AM Dog Training with Tim Seidell and his dog, Gladiator
  • Tuesdays, 11:00 AM Makeup By Megan
  • Wednesdays, 10:00 AM My Two Dads, reruns of Mayor Hallinan's favorite show
  • Wednesdays, 11:00 AM Pennington Justice with Greene County Judge Fred Cary
  • Thursdays, 11:00 AM Chef Argento's Cuisine de Pennington with Chef Argento of Argento's Place
  • Thursdays, 11:30 PM Late Night Laughs w/ Phil Hamm
  • Fridays, 11:00 AM Sir Science!: Join valiant knight Sir Science (6th Grade science teacher Lee Hildebrandt) as he and his trusty horse Hypothesis explore the world around us
  • Saturdays, 11:00 AM Bass Fishing on Pennington Lake: Fishing with Tom Toomey, 'Skip' Kerr, and other local legends of bass fishing

Special Events This Week

  • Monday, 3:00 PM Pennington Intervention: Eddie Pratt
  • Tuesday, 3:00 PM World Beats Music And Dance: Live From Pennington Rec Center
  • Wednesday, 3:00 PM State of the Town Address with Mayor Sue Hallinan
  • Thursday, 3:00 PM PHS Pep Rally: Go Deer!
  • Friday, 3:00 PM Pennington Junior College Presents: Pennington Rocks!: A look into Pennington's music scene with Kara and Cam
  • Saturday, 1:00 PM WONN5 Presents: Implosion of the old Wheatman's Pride cracker factory LIVE!

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