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What’s Inside Trump’s Tax Returns

Donald Trump’s aides have confirmed that the Republican presidential nominee will not release his tax returns despite numerous public calls for him to honor the expectation of transparency for presidential hopefuls. Here are some of the potentially damning contents that Trump prefers not to release to the public

NASA Launches First Cordless Satellite

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—In what experts are calling a breakthrough achievement that is poised to revolutionize American space exploration and telecommunications, NASA announced Friday it has successfully launched its first cordless satellite into orbit.

Hillary Clinton Holds Infant Grandson Upside Down By Ankle In Front Of Convention Crowd

‘Family,’ Candidate Says

PHILADELPHIA—Seeking to make her case to the nation’s voters as she accepted her party’s presidential nomination Thursday night, Hillary Clinton reportedly began her headlining address at the Democratic National Convention by holding her infant grandson, Aidan, upside down by his ankle and firmly intoning the word “Family” in front of the assembled crowd.

Hillary Clinton Waiting In Wings Of Stage Since 6 A.M. For DNC Speech

PHILADELPHIA—Saying she arrived hours before any of the members of the production crew, sources confirmed Thursday that presidential nominee Hillary Clinton has been waiting in the wings of the Wells Fargo Center stage since six o’clock this morning to deliver her speech at the Democratic National Convention.

Depressed, Butter-Covered Tom Vilsack Enters Sixth Day Of Corn Bender After Losing VP Spot

WASHINGTON—Saying she has grown increasingly concerned about her husband’s mental and physical well-being since last Friday, Christie Vilsack, the wife of Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack, told reporters Thursday that the despondent, butter-covered cabinet member has entered the sixth day of a destructive corn bender after being passed over for the Democratic vice presidential spot.

Superfoods: Myth Vs. Fact

Though the media often heralds certain foods as cancer-fighting or immune-building, many of these claims don’t hold up to scientific scrutiny. The Onion separates the myths from the facts regarding so-called superfoods

Cannon Overshoots Tim Kaine Across Wells Fargo Center

PHILADELPHIA—Noting that the vice presidential nominee had been launched nearly 100 feet into the air during his entrance into the Democratic National Convention Wednesday night, sources reported that the cannon at the back of the Wells Fargo Center had accidentally overshot Tim Kaine across the arena, sending him crashing to the stage several dozen feet beyond the erected safety net.
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Listings for other local Pennington cable-access programming

WONN5 Cares About Pennington!

We devote 20 hours of airtime to locally produced programming every week. If you have an idea for a show of your own, please contact the WONN5 programming director, Blake Randall. (Please do not call during the noon or evening news broadcast.)

Weekly Programming

  • Sundays, 7:00 AM Holbrook On Call: Call-in advice from Pennington's best and only doctor
  • Sundays, 8:00 AM First Lutheran Church Sunday Morning Service
  • Mondays, 11:00 AM Get Fit with Darryl's New Wife Tina
  • Mondays, 11:00 AM Dog Training with Tim Seidell and his dog, Gladiator
  • Tuesdays, 11:00 AM Makeup By Megan
  • Wednesdays, 10:00 AM My Two Dads, reruns of Mayor Hallinan's favorite show
  • Wednesdays, 11:00 AM Pennington Justice with Greene County Judge Fred Cary
  • Thursdays, 11:00 AM Chef Argento's Cuisine de Pennington with Chef Argento of Argento's Place
  • Thursdays, 11:30 PM Late Night Laughs w/ Phil Hamm
  • Fridays, 11:00 AM Sir Science!: Join valiant knight Sir Science (6th Grade science teacher Lee Hildebrandt) as he and his trusty horse Hypothesis explore the world around us
  • Saturdays, 11:00 AM Bass Fishing on Pennington Lake: Fishing with Tom Toomey, 'Skip' Kerr, and other local legends of bass fishing

Special Events This Week

  • Monday, 3:00 PM Pennington Intervention: Eddie Pratt
  • Tuesday, 3:00 PM World Beats Music And Dance: Live From Pennington Rec Center
  • Wednesday, 3:00 PM State of the Town Address with Mayor Sue Hallinan
  • Thursday, 3:00 PM PHS Pep Rally: Go Deer!
  • Friday, 3:00 PM Pennington Junior College Presents: Pennington Rocks!: A look into Pennington's music scene with Kara and Cam
  • Saturday, 1:00 PM WONN5 Presents: Implosion of the old Wheatman's Pride cracker factory LIVE!

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