Little League Coach Reveals Creepy Method For Breaking In Baseball Mitt

In This Section

Vol 46 Issue 16

Adam Wainwright Annoying Entire Ballpark By Announcing Pitch Count Out Loud

ST. LOUIS—Despite a stellar complete-game effort against the Mets Sunday, Cardinals ace Adam Wainwright managed to irritate every player, coach, member of the media, and spectator in the ballpark by shouting out his pitch count every single time he threw the ball. "One," Wainwright said after his first pitch, just seconds before acknowledging his second by shouting.

Great Boston Marathon Moments

Robert K. Cheruiyot set the new course record in this year's Boston Marathon, adding yet another chapter to the legend of this great road race.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Healthy Eating

Little League Coach Reveals Creepy Method For Breaking In Baseball Mitt

KILLEEN, TX—Telling the assembled group of third-graders that they had to oil it down and tie it up real good, 38-year-old Killeen Kougars coach Dan Behling explained, in creepy detail, how to break in a baseball glove Monday. "A good glove will be with you for a long time, so you got to treat it like your girl," Behling said to the innocent 9-year-olds as they stared at their feet. "Don't use the cheap stuff. Get good oil. It'll feel tight at first, but just keep pounding and pounding. She'll loosen up." Despite their discomfort, members of the team were unable to argue with the method, which resulted in a smooth, supple glove that warmly caressed—rather than loosely hung off—the hand.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More