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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Little League Coaches' World War II-Themed Speeches Leave Players Confused, Frightened

WILLIAMSPORT, PA—Though coaches for both the United States and Japanese Little League teams attempted to inspire their young squads before Sunday's championship game by evoking the memories of those who fought and died for their respective countries in World War II, the coaches' descriptive tales of conflict, suffering, and mass death left players almost incapable of taking the field. "Yeah, Japan carried out a sneak attack on an American territory and killed 2,000 people, but…So? Why is that important now? Why should I keep suicidal kamikaze aircraft in mind during the game?" said U.S. pitcher Kendall Scott, visibly shaken by coach Mickey Lay's speech. "And yes, then we dropped an atom bomb on 210,000 Japanese men, women, and children, but I—I just don't…I mean, why even bring that up?" Players from the Japanese team were equally traumatized when manager Youichi Kubo explained that many in his family perished in the atomic flames of Hiroshima, and that it was almost certainly their dying wish for him to win a Little League World Series.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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