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Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Live Cow Lowered Onto Floor Of U.S. House Of Representatives

WASHINGTON—Cautiously maneuvering the animal above Congressional chambers as a chorus of snarls and growls erupted from below, U.S. Capitol handlers carried out routine legislative feeding procedures this morning by lowering a live cow onto the floor of the House of Representatives. “All right, chow time!” shouted a feeding supervisor, who lowered the 800-pound heifer into the baying horde of lawmakers and then waited around 30 seconds for the sounds of panic and gnashing teeth to die down before lifting the animal’s skeletonized remains back up from the floor. “Let’s bring ’er up, fellas. Whoo-weee! Looks like they were hungry today, yes sir!” At press time, sources reported the blood-soaked legislators had resumed their scheduled hearing on H.R. 3193.

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