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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Local Band Expects Things To Take Off Following Glowing Write-Up In soundandfury.wordpress.com

EUGENE, OR—The members of local rock band Desert Ashes expect their careers to really take off following a rave write-up in music blog soundandfury.wordpress.com, the musicians said Thursday. “I don’t think you can ask for a more positive review than that; I mean, this is just the kind of positive exposure we’ve been craving,” said Desert Ashes guitarist Shane Flaherty of the WordPress-hosted website’s laudatory 200-word review of his group’s debut EP Cosmic Glow, which describes the group as “a wiry post-punk ensemble” with “manic guitar lines awash in atmospheric reverb” and “tart lyrics that also betray a certain world-weary melancholy.” “I think we’ll look back on this as sort of like the demarcation point where we went from being a struggling new group to being something much, much bigger. It’s an amazing feeling, and we have the soundandfury guys to thank for that.” At press time, Flaherty was refreshing his internet browser to see if anyone had posted a comment.

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