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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Local Father Briefs Family On Which Basketball Players Now Household Names

EDINA, MN—Gathering his wife and children Monday to bring them up to date, local man George Litton, 57, reportedly apprised his family of which basketball players are currently household names. “Here’s the rundown: Kobe Bryant, as you know, is a household name, as are Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and, as of more recently, Kevin Durant,” said Litton, who went on to list several more players before emphasizing that Cavaliers point guard Kyrie Irving had not yet accomplished enough to be considered a household name. “I know you may think Steph Curry is a household name, but he’s not. Not yet. He’s carved out a place for himself as the Warriors’ best player and as a premier NBA point guard, but he’s not a household name. Now, is Paul George a household name? Fair question. Earlier this season, I might have said yes, but given the Pacers’ struggles over the last month, it’s less certain. Until further notice, Paul George is not a household name.” Litton added that should anyone have questions regarding the list of household names, he is always willing to answer them anytime, day or night.

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