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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Local Laundromat Employs Social Media Coordinator

CHESTER, PA—Saying that it was the next logical step for the company, the owners of local laundromat Sudz Cleaners told reporters Tuesday that they had recently hired social media coordinator Dan Elmets, 26, to lead the development and execution of social strategy for the coin-wash laundry business. “Dan’s role is essential to Sudz Cleaners because he not only manages our Facebook and Twitter identities, he also keeps us on top of the latest trending topics and makes us a part of the global online conversation,” said Bill Dunn, co-owner of the self-service and drop-off laundromat. “For example, if something happens with Clorox, we can tweet at them from our account and then repromote on Facebook. And if we get a machine fixed, we can tease it on Instagram with a photo and the caption, ‘Want to wash your clothes? Dryer 5 is open!’ We always try to go with those ‘gotcha’ moments, and that’s where Dan really brings his talent and innovation to the table.” Dunn added that though they are currently allocating $50,000 for just one social media position, they hope to offset the cost by raising the price of laundry detergent tablets in the vending machine by $0.20.

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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