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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.
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Local Laundromat Employs Social Media Coordinator

CHESTER, PA—Saying that it was the next logical step for the company, the owners of local laundromat Sudz Cleaners told reporters Tuesday that they had recently hired social media coordinator Dan Elmets, 26, to lead the development and execution of social strategy for the coin-wash laundry business. “Dan’s role is essential to Sudz Cleaners because he not only manages our Facebook and Twitter identities, he also keeps us on top of the latest trending topics and makes us a part of the global online conversation,” said Bill Dunn, co-owner of the self-service and drop-off laundromat. “For example, if something happens with Clorox, we can tweet at them from our account and then repromote on Facebook. And if we get a machine fixed, we can tease it on Instagram with a photo and the caption, ‘Want to wash your clothes? Dryer 5 is open!’ We always try to go with those ‘gotcha’ moments, and that’s where Dan really brings his talent and innovation to the table.” Dunn added that though they are currently allocating $50,000 for just one social media position, they hope to offset the cost by raising the price of laundry detergent tablets in the vending machine by $0.20.

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