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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Local Man Not Sure How He Ended Up In Boxing Entourage

LAS VEGAS—Perplexed and disoriented as he accompanied WBO light heavyweight champion Sergey “Krusher” Kovalev to the ring at the MGM Grand Garden Arena Saturday, local man Derek Hoff confirmed to reporters that he has absolutely no idea how he wound up in the boxer’s entourage. “I was just sort of walking around outside the casino, and the next thing I know I’m caught up in a big swarm of guys heading down to the ring,” said the 43-year-old claims adjuster, adding that amid the flurry of lights and blaring music inside the arena, he was somehow outfitted in a sponsor’s T-shirt and then found himself holding a title belt over his head while walking behind Kovalev. “Two minutes later, I’m holding down the ropes with my foot while he climbs into the ring. I didn’t really know what was happening, so I kind of just stood quietly in his corner until everyone else went to go sit ringside.” According to sources, Hoff was equally confused immediately after the fight when he was given a handgun and guided into the back of a limousine bound for a nearby strip club.

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