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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Local Man Vows Revenge Against Atlantic Ocean

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Following a harrowing experience last Thursday in which vacationer Seth Harris got caught in the Atlantic Ocean's undertow and almost drowned, the 26-year-old promised to take vengeance on the 41.1-million-square-mile body of water, which as of press time covered one-fifth of the globe.

"No one can pull something like this without suffering the consequences," said Harris, adding that the 28,000-foot-deep ocean would "rue the day" it made a swift change in current while Harris was swimming inside it. "Anywhere [the Atlantic Ocean] goes, I'll be right there waiting for it."

The Earth's second largest body of water is the latest addition to Harris' revenge list, which also includes the Appalachian Mountains, the cardinal direction north, and Todd.

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