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Local Moviegoer Enjoying Movie So Far

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Local Moviegoer Enjoying Movie So Far

OAKLAND, CA—It was recently learned that local moviegoer Jane Pressler, who went to see a showing of The First Wives Club at Oakland's Sunrise Multiplex just a short while ago, is enjoying the movie so far. "I'm really enjoying this movie so far," said Pressler, a dental hygienist whose favorite film is The Bodyguard. "I just can't wait to see what Goldie, Bette and Diane do to get even with those no-good, jerk ex-husbands of theirs." Moments later, Pressler erupted in laughter at a Bette Midler wisecrack relating to the IQ of her ex-husband's current, younger girlfriend. Said Pressler: "She's crazy!"

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