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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Local News Anchor Mistakenly Reveals Salary During Broadcast

PITTSBURGH—Veteran anchorman Don Cannon accidentally revealed his annual salary on-air Wednesday following a KDKA-TV News At 6 segment on the increasing costs of attending a four-year college. "Gosh, it seems like people everywhere are trying to do more with less," Cannon remarked to co-anchor Patrice King Brown, referring to a family interviewed in the report. "Take it from me, it's no picnic sending three kids to school when you're only making $220,500. And that's before taxes." After the broadcast, KDKA was inundated with résumés from unemployed Pittsburghers, all emphasizing the fact that they, too, possess faces and can read aloud.

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