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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.
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Local Newswoman's Hairstyle Reported On By Co-Anchor

BALTIMORE—WMAR's TV2 News At 6 anchor Kent Niering reported on co-anchor Connie Everhart's recently altered hairstyle Monday night. "Well, it looks like Connie has a new 'do!" Niering said of Everhart's formerly shoulder-length hair, which she'd cut into a bob and dyed red over the weekend. "I think I speak for everyone here at WMAR when I say it looks fabulous!" Everhart smiled and thanked Niering for the compliment before throwing to a consumer-advocacy piece.

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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

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