Local Pool-Club Record-Holder Upset To Hear Michael Phelps Just Joined

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Vol 42 Issue 37

2nd Autopsy For Anna Nicole's Son

A second autopsy will be performed on Anna Nicole Smith's 20-year-old son who died at her bedside while she was hospitalized in the Bahamas. What do...

Horse Meat Banned

Congress has banned the slaughter of horses for meat, calling the process "barbaric." What do you think?

Care For 9/11 Illness

People who worked or lived near Ground Zero are demanding health-care for illnesses related to the poor air quality after the attacks. What do...

Sept. 12, 1972

Puke Orange, Pea Green, Mustard Yellow Adopted as New National Colors
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Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

Race Relations

Local Pool-Club Record-Holder Upset To Hear Michael Phelps Just Joined

ANN ARBOR, MI—Ann Arbor Pool Club member Edwin Peters, 32, a club record-holder in the 200-meter freestyle, the 200-meter individual medley, and the 200-meter butterfly, was disappointed to learn yesterday that Olympic champion Michael Phelps just joined the swimming club. "I understand records are made to be broken, but come on," said Peters, who is well aware that Phelps owns world records in the events previously mentioned. "I think this is going to make for a pretty lopsided club championship." Phelps was unavailable for comment, but many have said that his competitive nature will not allow him to take it easy on Peters or any other member of the Ann Arbor Pool Club.

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