Local Sports Reporter Recycles Same High School Volleyball Season Preview For 18th Year In A Row

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 45

Anorexic Woman At Gym Looking Good

CHICAGO—Citing her shapeless physique, protruding skeleton, and jaundiced complexion, gym members exercising at a local Equinox Fitness Club on Friday confirmed that the anorexic woman working out on the first floor is looking good. “Oh, man, ...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Eating

Entertainment

Local Sports Reporter Recycles Same High School Volleyball Season Preview For 18th Year In A Row

RUMFORD, ME—Tasked with writing the Rumford Falls Times’s annual preview of the Mountain Valley High girls’ volleyball season, local sports reporter Patrick Carver again reused, verbatim, the article that has run at the start of every season since 1995, sources at the paper confirmed Friday. “Mountain Valley has a talented team this year,” read the feature that, as always, praised the team’s “strong group of returning seniors” but also predicted the squad “will be looking for some younger players to step up.” “[Cross-state rivals] Wells is going to be tough to beat—they always are—but if the Falcons can fill their roles and play solid defense, they have a great chance at the championship.” For the 18th consecutive year, the preview listed a Megan Johnson as a “key player to watch.”

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More