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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Lolo Jones

Track and Field, Hurdles — Des Moines, Iowa

Event At Which She’s Most Likely To Win Gold: 60-meter tripping

Workout Routine: Carefully watched by leering creeps

Disappointment: Wind-assisted 7.88 at 2007 nationals marred by fact that wind only did it to get in her pants

Post-Olympic Plans: To finish writing book about her choice to live as an adult virgin, Jump Hurdles, Not Guys

Occupation: Still looking for full-time job jumping over small barriers

NEXT: Jordyn Wieber

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