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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Lolo Jones Becomes First American To Be Objectified In Both Winter And Summer Events

SOCHI, RUSSIA—Once again attracting widespread attention in the media for her looks, U.S. Olympic bobsled team member and track star Lolo Jones has become the first American to be objectified in both the Winter and Summer Olympics. “To be selected as the target of either praise or condemnation for reasons based solely on my physical appearance in two different games is truly an honor,” said Jones, adding that the achievement would not have been possible without the national media’s longstanding practice of placing a disproportionate emphasis on the beauty of female athletes as well as the forces of marketing and advertising that encourage that mentality. “At first it was hard learning how to submit myself to stereotypical representations of women in two completely different sports, until I started seeing the similarities between the two. At the end of the day I’m still being asked to pose in skintight suits for photoshoots and visit talk shows under the false pretense of discussing my athletic accomplishments.” Though the 31-year-old athlete confirmed she is still experiencing pre-race jitters, Jones believes that she has what it takes to compete for another endorsement exploiting her sex appeal.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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