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Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.
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Lone Doofus Has Been Waiting 36 Hours For Next C Train

BROOKLYN, NY—Despite the fact that all New York City subway service has been shut down since Sunday night due to Hurricane Sandy, area doofus Matt Crumskey has reportedly spent the past 36 hours waiting for the next C train to arrive at the Broadway Junction stop. “I know the subway is delayed sometimes, but this is getting ridiculous,” said the bumbling halfwit, who somehow blundered his way past the tape blocking the subway entrance, oblivious to the numerous signs stating that service had been halted due to a devastating storm ravaging the Northeast. “I’d try taking a different line, but I already paid my fare, and I know the second I leave this platform, the train will get here. And then I’d probably get caught in the rain out there.” The imbecile added that since he was the only one waiting on the platform, at least he could be sure that the train wouldn’t be too crowded once it finally arrived.

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