Lone Doofus Has Been Waiting 36 Hours For Next C Train

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Vol 48 Issue 44

Natalie Blasi

After realizing no one else was going to step up, Natalie Blasi assumed the role of the person who lets everyone in the post office line know how long they’ve all been waiting.
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Lone Doofus Has Been Waiting 36 Hours For Next C Train

BROOKLYN, NY—Despite the fact that all New York City subway service has been shut down since Sunday night due to Hurricane Sandy, area doofus Matt Crumskey has reportedly spent the past 36 hours waiting for the next C train to arrive at the Broadway Junction stop. “I know the subway is delayed sometimes, but this is getting ridiculous,” said the bumbling halfwit, who somehow blundered his way past the tape blocking the subway entrance, oblivious to the numerous signs stating that service had been halted due to a devastating storm ravaging the Northeast. “I’d try taking a different line, but I already paid my fare, and I know the second I leave this platform, the train will get here. And then I’d probably get caught in the rain out there.” The imbecile added that since he was the only one waiting on the platform, at least he could be sure that the train wouldn’t be too crowded once it finally arrived.

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