adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Lone House With No Halloween Decorations By Far Spookiest In Neighborhood

OGALLALA, NE—The only house on the street that remains unadorned with Halloween decorations is far and away the spookiest home in the entire neighborhood, residents of Parkhill Drive told reporters today. “That place gives me the creeps,” said Jenna Dorsey, 36, who noted the residence’s eerie lack of fake cobwebs, hanging bats, or skeleton window decals. “Nobody really knows the people who live there very well, but whoever they are, they don’t celebrate holidays, I guess. It’s all a little spooky—the fluorescent lights glowing in the kitchen, the Ford Taurus parked in the garage, the front yard that’s completely overgrown with weeds.” Sources who briefly glimpsed a sullen-looking man wearing jeans and a T-shirt and walking around inside the house confirmed the sight was far more frightening than any costume they had seen yet today.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close