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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.
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Lone House With No Halloween Decorations By Far Spookiest In Neighborhood

OGALLALA, NE—The only house on the street that remains unadorned with Halloween decorations is far and away the spookiest home in the entire neighborhood, residents of Parkhill Drive told reporters today. “That place gives me the creeps,” said Jenna Dorsey, 36, who noted the residence’s eerie lack of fake cobwebs, hanging bats, or skeleton window decals. “Nobody really knows the people who live there very well, but whoever they are, they don’t celebrate holidays, I guess. It’s all a little spooky—the fluorescent lights glowing in the kitchen, the Ford Taurus parked in the garage, the front yard that’s completely overgrown with weeds.” Sources who briefly glimpsed a sullen-looking man wearing jeans and a T-shirt and walking around inside the house confirmed the sight was far more frightening than any costume they had seen yet today.

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