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Oh Great, Another Woman Who Only Loves Me For My Complete Collection Of ‘Rurouni Kenshin’ Manga

Well isn’t that great—just great. Here I am, thinking I’ve finally met someone who’s perfect for me—she’s caring, smart, beautiful, and most of all, it seemed like she really got me. But I should have known better. Turns out she’s just like the rest of them, just another in a long line of women who only love me for my complete collection of the classic wandering samurai manga Rurouni Kenshin.

Disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings Not Living Up To Ridicule

LOS ANGELES—Describing the experience as a significant letdown, local diner Eric Tidwell told reporters that the disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings franchise he visited Thursday night failed to live up to the scorn he had long heard about the restaurant.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

Area Dad Needs More Time With Museum Plaque

NEW YORK—Leaning in close to the paragraph of text as his family continued on to the museum’s other exhibits, area dad and Frick Collection visitor Phillip Schermeier, 58, reportedly needed more time with the plaque beside Rembrandt’s 1626 painting Palamedes In Front Of Agamemnon Thursday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

‘Our Town’ Cast Party Going Off The Rails

PEEKSKILL, NY—Describing a wild scene in which performers and stagehands were loudly conversing, laughing, and occasionally breaking back into their characters from the play, sources confirmed Sunday night that the cast party for the local production of Our Town is currently going off the rails.

Thieves Make Off With Museum’s Most Valuable Docents

CHICAGO—In what is being described as a sophisticated and well-executed heist, thieves stole nine of the Art Institute of Chicago’s most valuable docents in broad daylight this morning, according to museum and law enforcement officials.
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Lone Smart Aleck Ruins RV Hall Of Fame For Serious Visitors

ELKHART, IN—A lone smart aleck spoiled the RV Hall Of Fame for serious visitors Monday, making sarcastic wisecracks about the various exhibits and running around the Elkhart tourist attraction like a "ninny."

One of the many nice RV Hall of Fame displays that Weed (inset) felt compelled to mock.

"My wife read about this place in RV Lifestyle, and we drove all the way from Illinois to see it," said retired contractor Gerald Finnis, 70. "But the whole time we were there, some goofball is engaging in horseplay and saying things like, 'If the RV is rockin', don't come a-knockin'' loud enough for everyone to hear. It spoiled the whole darn day."

Unlike the many respectful Hall Of Fame visitors who used the museum for its intended purpose, quietly reading informational placards and exploring the interiors of the displayed RV units, the smart aleck "hardly quit fooling around for two seconds." He was later identified as Dick Weed of Nuttsak Hills, PA, according to his entry in the guest book at the front of the museum.

"[Weed] had a friend with him who didn't say a whole lot, but he certainly encouraged him by laughing at everything he said," Finnis said. "The smart-alecky one would say, 'Man, this is even cooler than the Thermos Hall Of Fame over in Portage,' or 'Remember: Only the all-time greatest RVs are inducted into the RV Hall Of Fame,' and his pal would egg him on by laughing. Then, he would do something else stupid, like act like his foot was stuck under the tire of one of the RVs and scream. A real comedian, this guy."

Maintained by the Recreational Vehicle/Manufactured Housing Heritage Foundation, The RV/MH Hall of Fame and Museum is the most-visited tourist attraction on the I-80/90 Indiana Toll Road between South Bend and Lagrange. The Hall of Fame section honors nearly 200 pioneers and leaders in the RV/MH industry, while the museum area displays trailers, photos, and RV memorabilia from the 1920s to the present.

"There's a lot to learn here," said earnest visitor Clara Fetzer, 54, who glared icily at Weed several times during her visit. "For instance, before I came here, I assumed that MH either stood for Motor Home or Mobile Home. It doesn't. It stands for Manufactured Housing."

The Wall Of Fame, which features 70 framed photos of the most important figures in RV history, and the indoor "RV park," with antique vehicles displayed among artificial trees and lawn chairs, provided ample material for Weed to ridicule.

"It was disgraceful," said Mary Leehausen, 63. "[Weed] was standing next to me, looking at the cardboard family picnic display, and he kept calling it 'so hilarious.' I didn't see anything hilarious about it. Did you, Harry?"

"No," said Harry Leehausen, her husband. "These kids today, they have no respect. Someone put a lot of time and energy into making a nice museum, but some people have to try to put it down."

Even visitors who did not pick up on the derisive nature of Weed's remarks were irritated by his failure to comply with standard museum etiquette.

"[Weed] was running around, actually running inside the museum from exhibit to exhibit. And there were a few times when he cut ahead of me in line while I was waiting my turn to go inside one of the smaller modules," said Donna Merken, 42. "I think it's nice that he was excited to see everything, but there's no need to be rude to other people."

Weed's mockery, museumgoers said, only grew over the course of his 90-minute visit. Early on, while browsing the museum's 22 tourable RVs, Weed merely repeated declarations of, "Oh, my God," and "I cannot believe this." By the end of his visit, however, Weed's showboating had escalated to the point of disruption. Lying down in the middle of the museum's green, all-weather carpet, he loudly exclaimed, "I think I'll just take a little ol' rest in the grass here." Those wanting to enter the 1954 Holiday Rambler were forced to walk around him.

Moments later, Weed yelled "Bad dog!" at a ceramic dalmatian displayed next to the 1964 Coachmen Cadet. After loudly repeating the faux admonishment several times, Weed began to bark at the statue. The scene so vexed visitor Annalee Taylor, 64, that she retreated upstairs to the center's archival library.

Despite disapproving glances from those around him, Weed's shenanigans continued. He stuck his head out the window of the 1913 "Earl" Travel Trailer—the world's oldest known surviving non-tent travel trailer and the crown jewel of the museum's collection—and yelled, in a high-pitched female voice, "Goddamn it, Henry, get in here before the beans and weenies get cold!"

Then, in front of a gleaming silver 1954 Spartan Imperial Mansion, Weed affected a country drawl and said, "I'm gonna shine my trailer up reeeal nice and purty."

"Perhaps he was insinuating that people who have RVs are low-class or funny in some way," said Ernest Hollingsworth, 38, of Muncie, IN. "But why in the world would someone visit a museum about RVs if they felt that way? It just doesn't make sense."

"Maybe he was on drugs," Hollingsworth added.

If Weed had used illegal substances, it would have been in direct violation of RV Hall Of Fame policy. Museum officials, however, did not reprimand or question Weed about his strange behavior.

Gene Kahler, a longtime tour guide and cashier at the museum, attributed Weed's antics to the fact that "kids will be kids."

"He bought a T-shirt, a mug, and two tickets for the 7th Annual RV/MH Heritage Foundation Raffle, and he went out of his way to tell me what a great time he had," said Kahler, stacking pamphlets on the information table. "I don't know, it sure sounded like he meant it."

More from this section

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

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