adBlockCheck

Lone Smart Aleck Ruins RV Hall Of Fame For Serious Visitors

Top Headlines

Local

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.

Grandmother Palms Grandson $10 Like She Fixing Boxing Match

NEW BEDFORD, MA—Waiting until her daughter and son-in-law were occupied getting drinks in the kitchen following a family dinner at her home Sunday, local grandmother Ellen Sullivan, 72, is said to have palmed her 11-year-old grandson Jason Tucci $10 like she was fixing a heavyweight boxing match.

5 Months Of College Research Outweighed By Weekend Visiting Friend At Penn State

HAGERSTOWN, MD—Noting that the large public university had suddenly emerged as the high school student’s top choice for the fall, sources confirmed Wednesday that a single weekend spent with a friend who attends Penn State completely superseded all of graduating senior Tyler Pince’s college research over the past five months.

Boss Wants Friendly, Relaxed Company Culture In Place By Friday

SAN MATEO, CA—Warning of severe consequences if he didn’t see results, Pantheon Digital Consulting COO Daniel Abelson, 59, told employees Monday he wants a relaxed, friendly company culture implemented by the end of the week, sources within the organization confirmed.

Everyone In Coffee Shop Can Tell Trainee A Goner

KIRKLAND, WA—Shaking their heads as they watched the man struggle to make correct change and overheard him botch back-to-back orders, every customer at local coffee shop The Daily Bean confided to reporters Friday they could tell the store’s newest trainee was a definite goner.

34-Year-Old Man May As Well Keep Pursuing Dream At This Point

OMAHA, NE—Admitting he wasn’t really qualified to do much of anything else after all this time, local 34-year-old Ryan Wells told reporters Wednesday that, at this point, he might as well just keep following his dream of someday becoming a successful musician.

You To Still Die One Day

Did You Forget About That For A Minute?

WASHINGTON—Saying that despite the possibility you may have briefly been able to distract yourself from the incontrovertible fact by browsing the internet, hanging out with friends, reading, working out, or via some other diversion, sources confirmed Friday that you are still going to die one day and there is nothing you can do to prevent it.

Teacher’s Lounge The Site Of 5 Separate Emotional Breakdowns Today

CONWAY, AR—Noting that the space hasn’t gone more than two consecutive periods without being filled by the sound of soft sobbing or a sharply uttered series of curse words, sources at Conway High School confirmed that the teacher’s lounge has been the site of five separate emotional breakdowns so far today.

Alignment Of 6,071 Completely Independent Variables Necessary For Man To Feel Okay

PHILADELPHIA—Listing off an extensive set of prerequisite conditions ranging from various aspects of his physical health to the volume of the ongoing construction project outside his apartment, local man Shane Lambert confirmed Thursday that 6,071 completely independent variables must be in perfect synchrony at any given moment for him to feel okay.

Area Dad Stares Longingly At Covered Grill In Backyard

‘I Haven’t Forgotten You,’ Father Softly Whispers

EUCLID, OH—Placing his right palm against the glass of the sliding back door as he softly whispered reassurances to the device, local father Paul Chesney, 48, spent nearly an hour Tuesday gazing longingly at the covered grill in his backyard, family sources reported.

Breaking: Adam Got A PS4 For Christmas

He Got ‘Battlefront’ Too

DANVILLE, CA—Saying that the 10-year-old was so freaking lucky, sources in Mrs. Burnett’s homeroom class confirmed Monday that local 5th-grader Adam Samuels got a PlayStation 4 for Christmas and Star Wars Battlefront, too.

Grandma In Nursing Home Starts Adorable Little Sexual Relationship

PHOENIX—Saying it was nice to know their grandmother had found a companion to spend time with, the family of Desert Spring Assisted Living Home resident Barbara McGann reported Wednesday that the 78-year-old had begun an adorable little sexual relationship with another of the facility’s residents.

Grin Slowly Spreads Across Mom’s Face As Meal Revealed To Contain Healthy Ingredients

‘The Mashed Potatoes Are Actually Made With Cauliflower,’ She Announces

VERONA, WI—Having waited until everyone at the table had finished their dinner Monday, a knowing grin reportedly spread across local mother Angela Hopkins’ face as she announced to her family that the mashed potatoes had in fact been made using cauliflower as a healthier alternative.

Sudden Death Of Aunt Creates Rupture In Family Gossip Pipeline

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Grieving family members of local aunt Laurie Shelton confirmed Monday that the 48-year-old woman’s unexpected death had caused a major breach in their gossip pipeline, suddenly disrupting access to the latest dirt on all their relatives.

Man Really Letting No One Have It During Exit Interview

SPRINGFIELD, MA—Keeping his voice at a measured volume and holding everything back, departing employee David Hughes was really letting no one have it during his exit interview Monday, sources at local accounting firm Grier and Associates confirmed.

Conceptual Genius Goes As Self For Halloween

‘He Himself Is The Costume,’ Say Amazed Onlookers

SHERMAN OAKS, CA—Brilliantly subverting the very idea of a costume, conceptual genius Mark Richards, 27, reportedly stunned his fellow partygoers Friday when he announced that he had dressed as himself for Halloween.

No One In Gym Class Volleyball Game Willing To Set Ball

LITTLE ELM, TX—With neither team having completed more than two hits during a rally before sending the ball back over the net, sources confirmed Wednesday that no one in Jefferson High School’s third-period gym class was willing to set during a volleyball game.

Impressive New Hire Figures Out Bare Minimum Of Work Job Requires On First Day

MILWAUKEE—Marveling at his extraordinary ability to learn the ropes at the technology firm and quickly fit right in with the rest of his colleagues, sources at Starpoint Solutions confirmed Thursday that impressive new hire Eric Myers has already figured out the bare minimum of work his job requires on the very first day.

45-Minute Phone Call To Credit Card Company Goes Great

FORT WAYNE, IN—Grinning with contentment as he reminisced about the call he placed earlier in the day, 31-year-old accountant Greg Schulhoff told reporters Thursday that his 45-minute phone call with MasterCard regarding late payment fees went “really great.”

Mom Keeping Tabs On Coyote Situation

WAYZATA, MN—Regularly updating her husband and children on the frequency and location of sightings around the neighborhood, local mother Dana Salisbury continued to keep close tabs on the coyote situation this week, sources confirmed.

Teen Coming Out Of Shell Giving Bully Lots Of New Material To Work With

SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Claiming he “hit the jackpot” when his victim began displaying an increased level of confidence and expressing his personal interests, local bully David Macomber told reporters Tuesday that he has had loads of new material to work with since 14-year-old Andrew Reid started coming out of his shell several weeks ago.

Boss Able To Seamlessly Blend Constructive Criticism With Personal Attacks

SAN JOSE, CA—Marveling at the ease and deftness with which he communicates the two messages simultaneously, employees at local advertising firm Wavelength Solutions told reporters Tuesday that their supervisor Eric Crowell has a unique ability to seamlessly blend constructive criticism with cutting personal attacks.

Neighborhood Starting To Get Too Safe For Family To Afford

CHICAGO—Explaining that the sense of unease she felt walking to and from her home had declined markedly over the years, Humboldt Park resident Kirsten Healy expressed her disappointment to reporters Thursday that her neighborhood was becoming too safe for her family to afford.

Area Dad Informs Busboy He’s Ready To Order

NASHUA, NH—Raising his arm into the air while leaning outward from the table in a bid to command attention from the other side of the restaurant, area father Walter Bierko called over a busboy at DiCapri’s Italian Eatery to inform him that he was ready to order, sources reported Wednesday.

Winning Argument With Aging Parents Less Satisfying Than It Once Was

CINCINNATI—After firmly telling them that she was okay paying city prices and that she would not move back to her hometown just because it was cheaper, local woman Ellen Wallace, 40, confirmed Thursday that winning an argument with her parents has become much less satisfying as they have gotten older.

Rescuers Heroically Help Beached Garbage Back Into Ocean

ATLANTIC BEACH, NC—In what many described as an inspiring display of selflessness and teamwork, a group of rescuers heroically saved a beached mound of garbage by helping the stranded trash back into the ocean, eyewitnesses reported Thursday.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Lone Smart Aleck Ruins RV Hall Of Fame For Serious Visitors

ELKHART, IN—A lone smart aleck spoiled the RV Hall Of Fame for serious visitors Monday, making sarcastic wisecracks about the various exhibits and running around the Elkhart tourist attraction like a "ninny."

One of the many nice RV Hall of Fame displays that Weed (inset) felt compelled to mock.

"My wife read about this place in RV Lifestyle, and we drove all the way from Illinois to see it," said retired contractor Gerald Finnis, 70. "But the whole time we were there, some goofball is engaging in horseplay and saying things like, 'If the RV is rockin', don't come a-knockin'' loud enough for everyone to hear. It spoiled the whole darn day."

Unlike the many respectful Hall Of Fame visitors who used the museum for its intended purpose, quietly reading informational placards and exploring the interiors of the displayed RV units, the smart aleck "hardly quit fooling around for two seconds." He was later identified as Dick Weed of Nuttsak Hills, PA, according to his entry in the guest book at the front of the museum.

"[Weed] had a friend with him who didn't say a whole lot, but he certainly encouraged him by laughing at everything he said," Finnis said. "The smart-alecky one would say, 'Man, this is even cooler than the Thermos Hall Of Fame over in Portage,' or 'Remember: Only the all-time greatest RVs are inducted into the RV Hall Of Fame,' and his pal would egg him on by laughing. Then, he would do something else stupid, like act like his foot was stuck under the tire of one of the RVs and scream. A real comedian, this guy."

Maintained by the Recreational Vehicle/Manufactured Housing Heritage Foundation, The RV/MH Hall of Fame and Museum is the most-visited tourist attraction on the I-80/90 Indiana Toll Road between South Bend and Lagrange. The Hall of Fame section honors nearly 200 pioneers and leaders in the RV/MH industry, while the museum area displays trailers, photos, and RV memorabilia from the 1920s to the present.

"There's a lot to learn here," said earnest visitor Clara Fetzer, 54, who glared icily at Weed several times during her visit. "For instance, before I came here, I assumed that MH either stood for Motor Home or Mobile Home. It doesn't. It stands for Manufactured Housing."

The Wall Of Fame, which features 70 framed photos of the most important figures in RV history, and the indoor "RV park," with antique vehicles displayed among artificial trees and lawn chairs, provided ample material for Weed to ridicule.

"It was disgraceful," said Mary Leehausen, 63. "[Weed] was standing next to me, looking at the cardboard family picnic display, and he kept calling it 'so hilarious.' I didn't see anything hilarious about it. Did you, Harry?"

"No," said Harry Leehausen, her husband. "These kids today, they have no respect. Someone put a lot of time and energy into making a nice museum, but some people have to try to put it down."

Even visitors who did not pick up on the derisive nature of Weed's remarks were irritated by his failure to comply with standard museum etiquette.

"[Weed] was running around, actually running inside the museum from exhibit to exhibit. And there were a few times when he cut ahead of me in line while I was waiting my turn to go inside one of the smaller modules," said Donna Merken, 42. "I think it's nice that he was excited to see everything, but there's no need to be rude to other people."

Weed's mockery, museumgoers said, only grew over the course of his 90-minute visit. Early on, while browsing the museum's 22 tourable RVs, Weed merely repeated declarations of, "Oh, my God," and "I cannot believe this." By the end of his visit, however, Weed's showboating had escalated to the point of disruption. Lying down in the middle of the museum's green, all-weather carpet, he loudly exclaimed, "I think I'll just take a little ol' rest in the grass here." Those wanting to enter the 1954 Holiday Rambler were forced to walk around him.

Moments later, Weed yelled "Bad dog!" at a ceramic dalmatian displayed next to the 1964 Coachmen Cadet. After loudly repeating the faux admonishment several times, Weed began to bark at the statue. The scene so vexed visitor Annalee Taylor, 64, that she retreated upstairs to the center's archival library.

Despite disapproving glances from those around him, Weed's shenanigans continued. He stuck his head out the window of the 1913 "Earl" Travel Trailer—the world's oldest known surviving non-tent travel trailer and the crown jewel of the museum's collection—and yelled, in a high-pitched female voice, "Goddamn it, Henry, get in here before the beans and weenies get cold!"

Then, in front of a gleaming silver 1954 Spartan Imperial Mansion, Weed affected a country drawl and said, "I'm gonna shine my trailer up reeeal nice and purty."

"Perhaps he was insinuating that people who have RVs are low-class or funny in some way," said Ernest Hollingsworth, 38, of Muncie, IN. "But why in the world would someone visit a museum about RVs if they felt that way? It just doesn't make sense."

"Maybe he was on drugs," Hollingsworth added.

If Weed had used illegal substances, it would have been in direct violation of RV Hall Of Fame policy. Museum officials, however, did not reprimand or question Weed about his strange behavior.

Gene Kahler, a longtime tour guide and cashier at the museum, attributed Weed's antics to the fact that "kids will be kids."

"He bought a T-shirt, a mug, and two tickets for the 7th Annual RV/MH Heritage Foundation Raffle, and he went out of his way to tell me what a great time he had," said Kahler, stacking pamphlets on the information table. "I don't know, it sure sounded like he meant it."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close