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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Longtime Heckler Just Kind Of Fell Into Heckling

LOS ANGELES—Comedy-club regular Ray Thurmond, 53, has heckled Southern California's comedians for the past 21 years, but he told reporters Monday that he never planned to become a heckler. "I was watching some awful act at the Comedy Store, and the guy was totally bombing," Thurmond said. "So I yelled, 'God, you suck.' Well, the audience really cracked up, so I yelled at him to get off the stage. One thing led to another, and here I am." Thurmond also said that, while he did not coin the phrase, he may have been responsible for introducing the concept of not quitting your day job to the local scene.

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